I dont want a job

I do not want to get a job, that might seem crazy, but I do not have the confidence in myself to do anything. I am miserable and cant seem to get the strength to be interested in getting a new job. I also feel that my husband has been off for a 7yr and half that maybe its is turn.

I feel like I gave so much up for that miserable job that I lost me and became someone I do not like. How do I change that. I dont want to find a new job just for the money and health benifits. I will get stuck in the rut that I am already in. Will this economy ever change. Probably not.

Bad mood, Bad luck, Bad everything

I am trying to figure out how to get back to being me....I lost myself sometime ago, I am not sure when but I did. I think it was before the kids came along or maybe it was after. I feel like I did everything in the correct fashion that I have no clue where it went wrong.

I went to college got a degree, found a job, bought a house, had kids. But it seems that somewhere along the lines it all started to fall apart. I feel like I am going crazy. I had a job, supported my family, had a husband who had a job, kids where healthy and happy. Then husband lost his job, and I felt like I could keep it all together.

My horrible job I had took its toll. I doubted everything I did and said. I hated my life, and my husband and kids. So after another year of dealing with myself by myself I did something, I quit my job. Wow you have no idea why that was such a relieve.I felt 100X better. But now that high has come crashing down.

I try to find the things that make me happy, but nothing is. We went to Disney and I was happy for that short time but I knew my normal pathetic life was waiting for me back in Chicago.

Its not like I expect my life to be like Paris Hilton's or something, I just want a life that is not so hard. I worry about where the next meal or the next mortgage pymt is going to come from. I try to hide this all from my husband. I think I am doing an OK job but then there are days he calls me on my shit.

I don't want to find another job that will make me a zombie to the job, what is wrong with this country that we just are looking for the easiest and quickest way to do things. Is anyone really happy????